Category Archive: HalfBeard's Articles

Posts written by HalfBeard

Nov 21 2014

HalfBeard Survives Turok Part 13

Who cares about plesiosaurs or basic biology for that matter? Instead let’s use our stupid made up dinosaur that has a whole whack of tentacles despite being reptilian.

Nov 21 2014

Heads Up: Death Skid Marks

Traffic is a beast, especially when aliens, neo-nazis, and evil groupies are involved.

Nov 20 2014

HalfBeard Survives Turok Part 12

♫Spider-Tank♫ ♫Spider-Tank♫
♫Fear the crappy boss fight of Spider-Tank♫
♫He doesn’t play by the rules♫
♫instead he makes Turok look like a fool♫
♫Watch out! Cause here comes the Spider-Tank♫

Nov 20 2014

Heads Up: Sneaky Sneaky

They really missed out an opportunity by not just scoring this entire game in pizzicato.

Nov 19 2014

HalfBeard Survives Turok Part 11

For a guy who just wrestled a tyrannosaurus, Turok is really bad at taking rockets to the face.

Nov 19 2014

Heads Up: Escape Dead Island

The zombies might not necessarily be the scariest thing on this island.

Nov 18 2014

HalfBeard Survives Turok Part 10

Are you all excited for a boss fight? Well deflate those hype balloons because Turok finds a way to make those boring too.

Nov 18 2014

Review of Fantasy Life

Apparently the best thing about generic fantasy kingdoms are their incredibly low unemployment rates.

Nov 17 2014

HalfBeard Survives Turok Part 9

This comm unit better shit hundred dollar bills considering all the trouble we’re going through for it.

Nov 17 2014

Heads Up: Rollers of the Realm

Pinball Wizard takes on an entirely different context here.

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