Mar 02 2012

Hear Ye, Hear Ye; Time for Ye Olde Crusader Kings 2 Giveaway. [UPDATED]

[UPDATE] Well we had a number of stellar entries all of which at least got a chuckle out of me but unfortunately we had one entry more than we did codes so someone had to lose. I gave everyone a number and rolled a d6. Winners, your codes are in your inboxes so all entrants be sure to check your emails to find out if you were one of the lucky ones. Well hope you all enjoyed the contest and be sure to keep reading HalfBeard’s HUD for more awesome stuff like this.

Well it’s been a while but we have another giveaway contest and it’s a doozy. Paradox Interactive has been nice enough to give us 5 copies of the fantastic grand strategy game, Crusader Kings 2. Garnering our first perfect score of 2012 any strategy fan should be salivating over the possibility of getting this game for free and we’re going to make it easy by letting our fellow nerds win them by doing what they do best, quoting obscure crap! All you have to do is leave a comment on this post with the funniest medieval themed quote you can think of, yes that means the fact you can recite Holy Grail verbatim just became useful. Come Monday at 11:59PM PST we’ll pick our five favorites and send those lucky bastards a code to download the game off Steam.

So head off good Sirs, to glory and swag!

Also be sure to visit our Indiegogo project, Half Year to Succeed. Donating won’t give you a better chance of winning but it will allow us to put together more awesome content like this.



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  1. Woodbee

    not a Python or Mel Brooks line though it is very tempting, being a BA History student I find this particular quote from Vita Edwardi Secundi (Life of Edward II – circa 1326), stodgily explaining the circumstances that brought to death of Henry de Bohun, quite entertaining :

    “Henry, seeing he could not resist the multitude of the Scots, turned his horse with the intention of returning to his companions; but Robert opposed him and struck him on the head with an axe”

  2. Ryan Goodman

    The name of mistress instead of wife would be dearer and more honourable for me, only love given freely, rather than the constriction of the marriage tie, is of significance to an ideal relationship.
    – Heloise

    Sounds like a good deal to me!

  3. Yancakes

    Not even a movie quote… 😉

    “But then the Roman Empire fell like this- “oh shit”. And then we went into what the historians called the Stupid Fucker period. Where everyone was going- “er, I dunno. Is that a Roman road? Can we eat it?” Then there was the dark ages. “I can’t even see you! Where are you?”

    -Eddie Izzard

  4. Yancakes

    Also, Sean suggested that I post one of my own quote… 😉

    “Martin Luther was just the first reformer who wasn’t so limp wristed that he couldn’t hold a hammer.”

    1. HalfBeard

      I’m only counting it as one entry but I like that second one more.

  5. Sean Quinn

    The Crusades were, “We kill you in the name of Jesus!” “Wait, we have Jesus, too! He’s a prophet in our religion! We kill you in the name of Jesus!” “Do you? … Well, we kill you for your dark skin, for Jesus was a white man from Oxford!” “No, he wasn’t! He was from Judea! Dark-skinned man, such as we!” “… Really? Look, we’ve come all this way. Would you mind awfully if we hacked you to bits? Just for the press back home.”

  6. Flotz Katan

    can’t beat it.

    I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

  7. Jeremy S.

    A Pre-Battle encouragement speech by an English General to his men, before a fight with the french, in Medieval Total War 2:

    I look over there and I see a bunch of arse weasels! Piss-a-bed, sheep-worrying, arse weasels! I’ve seen priests’ arse holes that have more width then those tosspots. so, it’s time to teach them a lesson in fighting like men, not nancy-winkle-pickers. just go kill those moon-faced, winkle-sucking, goat-gobbling, codpiece thieves! Do it for me, do it for a laugh, do it for your poxed mum, do it for your fellow arse-pirating English bum-jaw!

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